Note: I have a writing project this weekend. Q&A will resume on 3/22

Question: Every summer (except last), our family spends 1 month together at our cabin, and we’re planning to resume the tradition this summer. If my sister-in-law chooses not to get vaccinated, she will be the only adult unvaccinated in the cabin. She won’t, however, be the only unvaccinated person there– our two young kids will be there too. Our journey to the cabin will be by car (4 days).  And we’ve started a dialogue with my sister-in-law, who has a lot of hesitancy about taking the vaccine.  She asked why we would risk the four-day road trip with our kids (hotels, bathrooms, etc.) but potentially not risk staying in the same cabin as her, basically asking isn’t the risk equivalent?  What do you think? 

Answer: Difficult situation you find yourself in.  First, it’s great that you’re having a dialogue and asking each other questions.  Keep at it!  (Note: Q&A of 2/2 may be helpful on that front.)  Second, when it comes to risk there are many factors at play related to the infected host, the environment, and the susceptible host (see Q&A of 11/16), making individual risk assessments challenging.  Generally, risk is higher in close-contact settings, closed spaces, and crowded places, including in household settings.  

In my opinion, the question of which is riskier is the wrong discussion.  In the scenario you’ve laid out, if you are to resume the tradition, you and your family have to take an unavoidable risk– to travel with two children who are unvaccinated in order to reach the cabin.  Meanwhile, your sister-in-law is taking an avoidable risk by making the choice to not get vaccinated, and her avoidable risk becomes an unavoidable risk to you and your family.  So rather than contending with one unavoidable risk, you’re now contending with two.  And that feels like an unfair burden.  Especially if it’s turned back around on you with the sentiment, “Why would you take one risk and not two?”  I’m reading into this, but I want to affirm– you are not being hypocritical by wanting to limit risk to your children.  I encourage you to keep the discussion going with your sister-in-law to understand her concerns, with the aim of nudging her to help herself and us all by taking the vaccine when it’s her turn.